Ave Atque Vale
by WhenIShipIShipHard
Summary: Post CoLS. Set 78 years after the events of CoLS, Magnus revisits past memories. I don't want to give much away, so read to find out.


Ave Adque Vale

**A/N: Ok, I have no idea where this idea came from. It was inspired by Flares by The Script, for some reason. It's based loosely on the first verse, I guess. Set 78 years after CoLS, no CoHF material in here. All of it except the end are flashbacks/memories. And I apologize in advance. **

Magnus pov

At first, Alec had called. At least 10 times a day. I had listened to every voicemail and read every text, no matter how much it hurt. But I never called back. I sat through heart-breaking voicemails, crying along with my love on the other end of the line. Each one hurt a little more than the last.

Slowly, the number dwindled, coming to the point where he wouldn't call for days on end. One day, the messages just stopped.

I had forgiven him, inside, but I never told him, because we would me back to square one. He wasn't willing to become a vampire, I hadn't found a way to take my immortality away.

—

At first, it had hurt. My heard ached, and my soul felt like it was being torn in two. I didn't take clients, I stopped doing my job. Only when my position as High Warlock was threatened did I start up again. I cried myself to sleep often. Alec's spot on the bed, now cold, and his blue scarf were losing the scent that was pure _Alec_. It started smelling like everything else in the apartment.

But time passed. I started to become numb. My heart didn't ache, but it didn't smile either. I became cold and distant. And whenever I saw something that reminded me of Alec, a shirt the same color of his eyes, someone with the same dark silky hair, it hurt, but not enough to break through the barrier of numb.

—

I don't know what drove me to go to Taki's that day. It was three years, two months, and seventeen days after I left the love of my life begging in a subway tunnel.

I slipped on some ok-looking clothes and applied minimal makeup. Ever since that day, my love for fashion took a dip. I almost never wore anything remotely glittery, or very colorful, anymore. It took me twenty minutes to get ready for a party now, instead of two hours. But I didn't go to many parties anymore.

—

Taki's was crowded, like always. I found a seat in a booth in one corner of the room, near the door. The waitress, a faerie girl, came over and set a menu down in front of me with a smile. I thanked her, and she left.

I didn't touch the menu. I wasn't hungry.

I glanced across the crowded restaurant, slightly bored. I had half a mind to leave; why did I even come in the first place?

My eyes continued to travel around the room. Suddenly, I froze.

It was as if every emotion I had ever felt crashed into my shoulders. Every memory I had locked away surfaced, full-force. It was like taking a stark white canvas, and dumping a truckload of black and red paint on it, not only covering it, but soaking it and everything around it with dark colors. I was drowning. I started gasping for breath, but no one noticed.

It had been years since I had seen him. But here he was, not looking a day older, silky midnight hair flying and ocean blue eyes twinkling as he shook his head and laughed. Light and bubbly, pure happiness. I had missed the sound so much, and it hurt to know that I wasn't the one causing him to make it. I looked at who was sitting across from him, the one who was making him laugh.

It wasn't Isabelle. It wasn't Jace. Hell, it wasn't even Clary or Simon.

Another Shadowhunter sat there, a smile on his face. His smooth chocolate brown hair was cut just above his eyebrows, and his green eyes sparkled with... love?

As I watched, Alec's phone rang, making him jump. He picked it up, and his smile slowly turned into a frown of annoyance. It was one I knew well; the one I saw every time he was called out for demon hunting while spending time with me.

Alec snapped a reply, hanging up. With a sigh, he slid out of the booth. The brown-haired Shadowhunter made a move to stand as well, but Alec shook his head, stopping him.

I didn't hear what he said. I didn't care. Because the next minute, he was leaning down to kiss the other Shadowhunter, on the lips. The same lips I had kissed goodbye three years, two months, and seventeen days ago.

It was like trying to look away from a battlefield littered with bodies. You want to turn your head, but no matter what, you can't jerk your eyes away.

I continued to watch as Alec slid his hand into the other guy's hair. As the other Shadowhunter cupped Alec's cheek. As Alec pulled away, blushing slightly. As he squeezed the other one's hand before turning away.

He started walking towards the door, towards my booth. He was going to see me. He was going to see my plain-for-Magnus-Bane clothes and my simple makeup. My un-spiked hair.

I didn't move.

It was as if the world had frozen, and it was just my unsteady breathing and Alec. He kept walking, agonizingly slow in my head. But I couldn't tear my eyes away.

He was exactly as I remembered, tall, plain black clothes, dark runes standing out against his pale skin.

His eyes met mine, blue to gold-green. Shadowhunter to warlock.

He stopped in his tracks, near my table. Even after all these years, I could read him like an open book. Disbelief, confusion, and sorrow flitted across his face before the emotions closed off. His eyes were cold.

"Magnus?" His voice was flat.

"Alec," I breathed. "Listen, I-"

I had no idea what I was going to say. It didn't matter, because he cut me off.

"I have to go." He turned on his heels and walked out the door.

That was the last time I ever saw him.

—

I just sat there for five minutes, frozen in shock. As soon as I could think straight again, I jumped out of my seat and raced out of Taki's.

I made a portal and landed in my bed. I was shaking, the rush of emotions swirling inside of me.

_Alec had moved on. _

_Alec isn't coming back to you. _

_Alec is dating another Shadowhunter. _

_Alec doesn't love you anymore. _

_He doesn't love you anymore _

_Doesn't love you. _

"He doesn't love me anymore," I whispered to myself. _Isn't that what you wanted?_ that tiny voice in my head nagged. _You wanted him to forget you, to find another Shadowhunder._ You _left_ _him_.

I sat on my bed, trembling, curled up into a tight ball. I didn't cry, but I rocked back and forth, low moaning noises coming out of my mouth.

I didn't know what I was thinking then. Eventually, I pulled it together enough to pull out my cellphone. I called the only person who could answer my questions.

_She won't talk to you, _the voice whispered. I clenched my teeth and ignored it.

"Hello?"

"Izzy," I gasped.

"Magnus?" Then her voice hardened. "Why are you calling me? After breaking my brother's heart, after no contact for three years, why the hell are you calling me?"

"Izzy please! Please..." my voice sounded broken.

I heard a small sigh. "What happened? You don't sound ok."

"Alec." I couldn't say anything for a second. "I went to Taki's and saw Alec. With someone else." I choked.

"Oh," was all she said.

It was silent for a moment. Finally, she spoke. "Why, Magnus? Why are you doing this to yourself?"

This angered me for some reason. "Don't you understand? He was the love of my life. My last love. I never stopped loving him, and I never will. But our problems wouldn't have just gone away."

It was now the tears started to flow. After years of locking them all in, with the memories, they all surfaced now. I couldn't stop.

Izzy started talking again.

"He didn't show up until the next morning, after that night. I assumed he was at your place, and I was surprised he was home so early. He brushed past me, and went into his room slamming the door. I didn't know what was wrong."

My breathing had slowly started picking up. Why was she doing this to me? I didn't want to know this. But I made no move to stop her.

_"_He didn't come out all day.

_By the time night fell, I was starting to get worried. Jace and I went over and knocked on his door. He didn't reply. _

_I remember that day, down to the last detail. He didn't open the door. I was starting to get worried, but when Jace threatened to break it down, the lock clicked. I shoved the door open and flew into the room, Jace on my heels. _

_He was leaning against a wall, knees curled up to his chest. His face was hidden, but as I looked around the room, I saw that all of your pictures, from the trip, had been torn down from the walls._

Dry sobs wracked my body. I didn't want to hear this, in fact, I don't know why I called Izzy in the first place. But she didn't stop. And I couldn't stop her.

_It didn't take a genius to put two and two together, but I didn't want to believe it. I couldn't believe it. _

_He asked us what we wanted. His voice was rough and broken. _

_"Alec?" Jace asked cautiously. "What's going on?" _

_"Nothing. Please leave me alone." He still didn't lift his face up. _

_"Alec look at us," I pleaded. "Tell us what happened." _

_He looked up, scowling. I will never forget how he looked. To put it in a few words, he was a mess. _

_"Please leave. I don't want company right now." _

_"First tell me what happened!" Jace argued. _

_Alec angrily wiped a tear away, one that managed to escape. Jace looked surprised that Alec was crying. Alec never cried. Not since Max. _

_"I happened, ok?" he snapped. "I screwed up again, and this is the consequence. Let me deal with it alone, please." _

_Jace didn't leave. Alec was about to break; I could tell he was about to punch Jace or start sobbing. The latter happened. _

_He started shaking, fresh tears rolling down his cheeks. Immediately, I went over and embraced him. He leaned away from my touch, pushing me away. _

_"I messed up. I fucking messed up. And because of that, I lost the one thing in the world that mattered most to me. Now if you could kindly leave me to wallow in my own misery alone?" _

My heart tore into two. Again. I couldn't stop the tears that were pouring down my cheeks. Izzy didn't stop talking, too wrapped up in her story to notice my sobs.

_I left the room. Jace looked at my brother again and did the same. As he closed the door, I heard Alec's broken sobs echoing in his room. _

_Alec didn't eat. He cried himself to sleep, _if_ he slept. He started going out on these suicide missions, fighting every demon that dared show up in Manhattan. He picked fights with werewolves and vampires. He would come home, covered in blood, not all of it his enemy's. He would go straight to bed, exhausted, and start again early the next morning. He nearly died on more than one occasion. _

_I didn't know what to do. There is no rune that heals a broken heart. _

_The , a miracle happened. His name was Noah. Noah changed everything. He changed _Alec_. It took a while to break into his shell of uncaring. But Noah slowly chipped away at it, until my brother became himself again. It took a year and a half. But he did it. _

_Alec was happy again. He was able to live again. To love. _

And that's who you saw at Taki's. Noah, who saved Alec's life."

I lay on my bed as Izzy finished her story. I wasn't crying anymore. I just lay there, shivering and shaking.

"Magnus?" her voice was concerned.

"Thank you," I said, voice hard and controlled. The ache in my heart was back, and I tried (and failed) to push it away.

"Magnus -"

I hung up.

—

**Sixty-one years later**

'Dear Magnus,

Alec's dead. It was completely natural, he died in his sleep. He lived a full and happy life, just like you wanted.

Sincerely,

Isabelle

—

**Present**

That was fourteen years ago.

I walked out of my apartment, the same one from the time Alec was alive. It was raining, the heavy drops stinging my skin and soaking my black jacket. I didn't care.

I walked over to the Shadowhunter's graveyard. It didn't take me long to find _his_ grave. I had been here many times.

I kneeled down on the wet earth, and traced the familiar words with my finger.

_Alexander Lightwood_

_September 18, 1989 ~ January 9, 2071_

_Brother, Husband, Father, Protector, Parabatai _

_Ave Atque Vale_

I snapped my fingers, a beautiful bouquet of red roses appearing in my hands. I placed them down in front of the headstone.

"Happy birthday, Alexander. I love you."

Slowly, a single tear slipped down my cheek, hitting the ground beneath me, mixing with the rain.

**A/N: Oh my god, I was crying the whole time I wrote that. Yes, give me hate, I have no idea what drove me to write that... I usually hate character death and breakup. And I ****_hate _****the idea of Malec not living forever together. **

**But please review either way, tell me what you thought. Bye. **


End file.
